The Single Girl’s Guide to the Holidays: How to Enjoy a Time You Should Loathe
by J’na Jefferson
Ah, the holidays. That magical time of the year when Jack Frost nips at your nose, hot chocolate is always readily available, and you can practically smell that mistletoe that you won’t be getting kissed under.
If you relate to the latter, you are not alone. Although the holidays are a wonderful time for all, if you’re single, they sometimes, kind of, really blow. However, they don’t have to suck!
Take it from me. I’m unwillingly yet perpetually single, so much so that it’s laughable at this point. The longest—and only—relationship I’ve ever had was with my mother’s womb. I have my M.F.A. (Masters in Forever Alone), so I know a thing or two. However, you shouldn’t pity me and you sure as heck shouldn’t pity yourself!
Take the 2012 holiday season in perspective- there’s so much LESS you need to worry about! Face it: you’re lonelier than that last autumn leaf on that dead tree in your front yard. However, with these ‘Single Girl Holiday Tips’, hopefully you’ll feel very thankful for living the single life during these last few weeks of the year.
Tip 1: Spoil Yourself
Doesn’t the thought of having someone who cares enough about you shelling out a ridiculous amount of money to buy a gift make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside? Well, you need to get punched with the fists of reality.
You’re single, baby.
Unless someone is willing to change that before it’s time to go holiday shopping, you’re better off just dealing with life’s harsh facts.
But hey, who knows what you like and want better than yourself? NO ONE.
Which brings me to tip one: spoil yourself rotten.
Birthdays, Christmas, and anniversaries are the prime gift-giving occasions that couples are expected to spend money on their beaus. I use the first two occasions to fulfill my own wishes. There’s nothing wrong with showering yourself with gifts. It’s not selfish in the slightest.
You can very well be your own significant other for this holiday season by getting yourself something that you really want. Buy it at the store, wrap it up really fancy, hell, you can even write a “To” and “From” label out. To really spice it up, act surprised when you open your gift. You saw it in the bag, but the fact that it’s finally yours is such an incredible feeling.
Need an idea? How about that really nice smelling Givenchy perfume you took a quick whiff of as one of your co-workers walked past? You persisted to follow her into the bathroom to find out the name of the perfume, and it has been on your mind for months.
Get it.
Who else is going to get it for you? Just because that cute guy who works at the coffee shop likes a few of your statuses on Facebook, it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s down to buy you that perfume for Christmas. His finger might have even slipped- he may have wanted to defriend you. Your order is long and complicated, and it frustrates him and the other baristas.
Through these highly unlikely (though possibly still very likely) scenarios, I hope that one thing stays in your mind. Spoiling yourself is wonderful, especially since no one is going to do it for you.
Tip 2: Go for Self Warmth and Comfort
Cuddling during this time of year is extremely important.
Everyone likes to cuddle, just not with you.
That’s why you’re single.
Since you have no other options, you’re just going to have to keep yourself nice and toasty warm. Pile on those big comfy sweaters, pop Magic Mike in the Blu-Ray player, make some holiday cookies, and go to town.
Sure, it’s nice to cuddle up to someone while watching a movie, but then they complain about their arm getting tired. Then, you have to find a position that benefits the both of you. You’re inconvenienced because of your significant other and their complaining. Complaining is the root of most evils in the world, and a probable reason as to why many relationships don’t work out how they should. No complaining from a partner, no problem!
During the holidays, it’s best to keep warm and to be as comfortable as possible. To me, comfortable=warm sweatpants. I know sweatpants can be bummy looking, but who do you have to impress? The season of love is Spring; hormones are raging as the weather warms up. Last time I checked, it was late fall/early winter- the dating drought. Hormones are in hibernation.
Feel as comfortable as you want, so you can keep warm. I’m sure that the weather is bound to be brutal with the upcoming season. There’s nothing wrong with sweats. You may think you look like a slob, but look around you. I’m sure a lot of other people aren’t going for a “NYC Fashion Week” look every single day. It’s colder than Frosty the Snowman’s undercarriage, so dress accordingly.
So basically, what you can take from this second tip is: stay warm and stay comfortable. Do what you please to fulfill those two winter needs. You don’t have to have someone to love to do that!
Tip 3: Reboot
Maybe you’re not chronically single like me. You might have just broken up with your significant other and you’re having a little trouble getting back on your feet.
The only thing you can really do is reboot and come back with a kick ass attitude for the upcoming year. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself and thinking, “what did I do wrong?” you should probably take into perspective all of the things, unrelated to relationships, that you do right.
Take it from me. My love life is a cruel joke that you’d find on Bravo. All I need is a sassy gay friend who acts as the voice of reason and a retro apartment in the city.
However, I’m awesome at tons of other things, and I take pride in those things while laugh at myself and my bad luck with love. Writing, dancing, patting my head and rubbing my stomach at the same time…the list is rather extensive. Once you realize that you’re a cool person who just needs to find the right person, everything will look up. I could be wallowing in a pool of self-pity, but I took an inner tube and a beach ball to that pool and I’m party-ing it up.
After a few failed flings, I realized that some things aren’t written in the stars. I just need someone to come along who appreciates my love of music, will make me laugh, and will not look at me funny after I snort when he makes me laugh. Till then, I’m just looking out for myself until someone comes along and realizes he wants to look out for me.
You need to restore a firm “I’m awesome” mentality for the upcoming year, so you will be ready for any experiences that come your way. Does telling yourself that you’re awesome everyone once in a while make it seem like you’re full of yourself? NO. It just shows that you are confident in the fantastic qualities that you possess. Just because some people are too blind to see those incredible qualities, it doesn’t mean that they aren’t there.
Think about it though. There is a slight possibility that you’re TOO awesome, and that’s why you’re still single. No one is willing to step up to the gold encrusted plate you have set in front of you, you flawless goddess.
In conclusion, being single sucks sometimes. It’s not legit, and it needs to quit. However, taking pride in the fact that no one who you find attractive is attracted to you, especially during this holiday season, actually proves how much of a rough and tumble gal you are. Switch it up, put on a brave face, and show that you can still be awesome and single.
J’na Jefferson is a college sophomore who’d much rather watch “The 90’s Are All That” than party on a Saturday night. She knows more pop culture references than she should, enjoys blogging on her personal site JibJabble, and she has been closely monitoring Miley Cyrus’ slow downward spiral since 2006.
Great blog J’na,
will read your tips more often!
Thank you Gopi!! <3